Have you ever said "Enough Already! I can't handle any more!" I'm sure that there have been times in every ones life when we feel like we are at the end of our rope and don't even want to pick up the phone for fear that it will be more bad news. It's been like that for Hubby and I pretty much ever since December 2009. Since then, we have had 7 deaths in our family, either on my side or Hubby's. Some were very unexpected and a shock, others we saw coming as we watched our dear family members fight a courageous battle with that terrible disease known as Cancer. Being called to mourn so many times, one tends to get a little numb and weary. Daily reflecting on the value of life. Don't get me wrong, we need to reflect on the value of life more often than what we normally do, however we can't be so consumed with it that we are afraid to live. All of this combined with other non-related issues made for a crazy roller coaster ride for the first few months of 2010 in Storeyland. It seemed at times that there was more tears than laughter. It was truly a sad time for all of us.As each person was taken away within weeks or months of each other, my mind was plagued with fear that I was going to loose one of my children or my husband. I went through a rough patch where I allowed this fear to control my life. I couldn't sleep at night, and if I did I payed the price by dreaming horrible dreams about my family. I was restless and overprotective of the children. I would obsessively check on them when they were sleeping to make sure they were ok. I just wanted to hold them close to me in hopes that I could somehow protect them from anything that could potentially harm them. No one wants to loose what is most precious to you, no one ever wants to walk willingly down that road even if we are assured that Heaven will be our home. We are human, and we thrive off of being connected to our loved ones. Seeing their smiles, talking to them, hearing their laughter, wiping their tears away and just being with them. There is a certain loneliness that can come when we loose those who matter most to us. A void is created in us and if we aren't careful, depression and fear can take a hold of us. I know because I've faced both. It took a while for me to realize that I needed to allow God to fill that space and take away the loneliness I felt for my family that's gone on to be with the Lord. Through prayer and daily bible reading, God touched me taking away those horrible feelings and dreams. He gave me back my joy and peace of mind.
Just when I thought, I was going to be ok, something else happened to rock our world. On September 15th, I went to my cousins funeral with my parents. My husband stayed at Mom's house with the children because we couldn't find a babysitter for him to go. As soon as we got home from the funeral, Hubby said that our 6 year old daughter Emily wasn't feeling well. She was sleeping so I went to check on her. She wouldn't wake up and was having difficulty breathing. We rushed her to the hospital. She was admitted right away and put on oxygen, and other monitors. Her oxygen level was extremely low and her heart rate was very high. That fear I had suddenly came back as I tried desperately to force thoughts of loosing her out of my head. As the night wore on, she would go from bad to worse then be ok for a bit. Needless today, we were up the entire night. However, God came through and we know a lot of people were offering up prayers for her. We are so thankful for those prayers. Despite the rough night, she had a somewhat better day but we still didn't have a diagnosis. She was even able to eat a little bit of toast and visit the playroom in the hospital for a bit. Her oxygen levels continued to climb and become closer to the levels they wanted to see in her. The next morning, the Doctor came to see her and she was doing so much better. Finally, we had a diagnosis which was she has Reactive Airway Disease. A better way of explaining it is that she has allergy induced asthma. After being on meds for a few of days and very careful follow up care at home after her hospital stay, we are happy to report that she is back to her normal self. One of the things that set off her allergy attack was the goldenrod flower that is in full bloom here right now, as seen in the above photo I took yesterday. The day of the funeral, she had picked a bouquet of them for my mother which Mom put in a vase. Not only was she around it outside but inside as well. We are so grateful that this is a childhood disease that she will eventually grow out of and she will only have symptoms during the spring and fall seasons. Now that we know the signs and symptoms to look for and what is wrong with her, we can be more vigilant when it comes to caring for her during those seasons of severe allergies. We serve a great big wonderful God who touched her mightly and helped her bounce back so quickly from this ordeal. Our hearts go out to parents who live with terminal illness in their children or that experience scares like this more frequently. We pray the God will comfort you and strengthen you as you go about your daily routine and our prayers go up for all the sick children in our world. To those that have walked through the 'valley of the shadow of death' we pray for God to minister to you in a great and mighty way. You will get through your situation and come out on the other side a more stronger, thankful person. You are not alone, you have a God who is there walking beside you and even carrying you at times just like the famous Footprints poem talks about. You need not to fear or be driven by negative emotions because if you trust God he will replace your fears with peace and your negative emotions with hope for the future. He is an on time God and he loves you more than anything. I leave with you the following scriptures that have ministered to me as we faced one situation after another in the last few months. I am so thankful that 'God is my refuge and strength, a very present help in time of trouble!'(Psalm 46:1) I'd think of that passage of scripture daily. Here are a few more that gave me encouragement. I pray as you read these you will feel Gods word come alive and speak to your heart.
Jeremiah 29:11 ~ "For I know the thoughts I think towards you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil to give you an expected end."
~1 John 4:18 ~ "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love."
~Romans 15:3 ~ "Now the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing that ye may abound in hope. through the power of the Holy Ghost."
~2 Corinthians 13:11 ~ "Finally bretheren, Farewell. Be perfect, be of good comfort, be of one mind, live in peace and the God of love and peace shall be with you."
~Philippians 4:7 ~ "And the peace of God which passes all understanding, shall keep your hearts and mind through Christ Jesus."
~Isaiah 26:3 ~ "Thou wilt keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on thee: because he trusteth in thee."
There are so many more that I could add to this post but I encourage you to find some of your own, ask God to speak to you through his word. Start in the book of Psalms. God knows exactly what you need to hear from him to help you in your situation.
God Bless!
Hannah during Bible class doing her workbook.
Alex with his stocking at the end of 
Emily was our sheep during the Drama at Teen Week.
My Class During Teen Week, just missing 2 who had to leave camp early This was one of my biggest classes during my 4 week stay.
Our Daughter, Emily and Nephew Isaiah got the Directors Award
Rachael and Reuben Memorized the most verses in their class
Rachael was the 
