.jpg)
Today was a bittersweet day, I had a mixture of emotions. Today, I realized the Twins aren't babies anymore. They have made that big step towards even greater independence. Today was the first day of Preschool for our youngest, Emily and Alex.
I couldn't help but reflect on how much time has passed since they were newborn. They were born early and so they stayed in the NICU for a few weeks until they could learn to suck and breathe on their own. I remember seeing their tiny bodies hooked up to all sorts of wires and feeling so overwhelmed and helpless. Since they were born premature, they had to be monitored a lot. Sometimes they would stop breathing on their own and in those moments fear would grip a hold of me and I thought they wouldn't make it. Now here they are 4 years old, totally healthy and strong. Totally excited that today was their first day in "school"!
It took a good half hour to get them settled into their class. Not because they were crying and didn't want to stay but because I was getting them from their outside shoes to the inside shoes (etc) and then they both had to go to the bathroom. Alex went first and as I got back I was just getting ready to leave and Emily had to go. I figured I'd save their teachers the trip as I knew they would be bugging them often throughout the morning to go. After Emily was done washing her hands, she looked at me and said matter of factly, " Mommy you can go now!" I informed her that I couldn't because I hadn't told Alex I was leaving and that I had to walk her back to the class. To which she piped up and exclaimed, " It's ok Mommy, I can tell him and I CAN walk by myself. I am BIG girl now!" LOL ....*Sigh* She is right of course. She is a big girl now and I have to stop thinking of them as babies.
After dropping them off, I was flabbergasted and wondering what now? I wasn't sure what to do at first! For 4 years my daily routine revolved around the twins and the other 3 children when they weren't in school. Since I wanted to get back into the routine of going to the gym, I decided to head there. After a vigorous workout I realized...... It had been way too long since I visited the gym and I had better make more of an effort to go more consistently. Thanks to Headstart, I can now make this a part of my morning routine. On the way home I grabbed a coffee thinking how weird it was there was no arguing or fighting going on in the back seat. I didn't even turn the radio on like I usually do. That's when I realized that the silence was way too LOUD!!
Here I thought I would enjoy the peace and quiet, and I did somewhat once I got home but all of a sudden I had an overwhelming surge of loneliness sweep over me. However, it didn't last long! I totally enjoyed their little conversations in the morning as I sipped my coffee or watch them do silly things. They are quite the entertainers however, I am thankful that I can now take this time for me. It's been hard to have alone time since they were born and I am looking forward to finding myself again! LOL
Once I realized my time was up and I had to get the twins, I found myself wishing I had a few more minutes to myself. They will be going three days a week in the mornings so we will still have part of the afternoon and two mornings of the week to go on our little adventures like we used to last year. Actually, it is refreshing to have them take this step. I don't care if the silence is loud in the mornings, I welcome it with open ears :)